As a young wife and mother, one area that I had often agonized over with insecurity was my ability to create an attractive and nurturing home environment for my family. My mother was June Cleaver, but that gene somehow did not get passed down to me. I was a plain ol’ slob growing up, and I didn’t know how to break that cycle!
I was also decorationally challenged! Early on, I had very little money to work with for decorating and had to make do with what we had. I was content with things I had accumulated from yard sales and hand-me-downs, but I felt like I lacked the creativity and confidence to put it all together and make it look nice.
I did a good job of teaching my children daily chores, and I had to keep things neat for teaching piano lessons, but most of the time I did not know how to manage the giant clutter monster that wanted to take residence in our home.
Daily, I looked around my home and felt inadequate. I was losing this battle! I was unsatisfied with my homemaking skills and had to do something about it. I needed help!
I first spent time with a very close friend in my church and candidly shared with her my dilemma about homemaking. She cleaned houses for a living as well as keeping her own home immaculate. I swallowed my pride and asked for her help. She explained her routine and gave me tips on superior cleaning. I was embarrassed at first to tell her that I didn’t know how to keep my house, but she was a fantastic help. That was a start!
The source that really changed my life from there was The Fly Lady. She helped me get that monster under control and learn how to develop great habits for maintaining a clean and comfortable home in which I don’t have to panic when visitors pop in. If you have never heard of her, check out her website. She has helped a lot of people!
For decorating tips, I fell in love with Moll Anderson, interior decorator and author. She has some wonderful and practical tips to help us make our homes a place of beauty and retreat. I recommend her books Change Your Home Change Your Life and The Seductive Home.
Finally, I spoke to my mother, and why I didn’t start there, I don’t know! She is the master! However, she is also OCD about cleaning and organizing, so I felt uptight about working with her. Even now, I am afraid to wash a dish in her kitchen because she is so particular about how things are to be done. Her advice, though, was actually wonderful.
She helped me appreciate my role as a woman to create the atmosphere in my home. What a role of honor and privilege! She helped me understand that homemaking is so much more than cleaning and decorating. It is actually a holistic process to make our home a sanctuary for our families to thrive, relax, and be nurtured, and for guests to feel welcomed and be inspired.
Here is what I discovered that made all the difference in the atmosphere of my home. It is all about nurturing spirit, mind, and body, and the body portion is all about appealing to all the five senses. It is that simple! I created a check list in my mind and mentally checked off each area as I felt satisfied. Here are some tips to help you nurture a warm and welcoming atmosphere for your home:
Spirit:
- Do not allow strife, arguing, disrespect, rebellion, pessimism, or any other attitude that brings turmoil or negativity into your home. Protect your home and the spirits of everyone who lives there. Encourage positive attitudes and words of encouragement.
- Pray for each member of your family daily. Call them by name, and don’t forget about yourself.
- Keep yourself nurtured, spiritually, mentally, and physically, so that your very presence contributes to a peaceful and joyful environment.
- Keep your home rich in God’s Word. Live it, talk about it, read and memorize it, and display it.
- Greet each member as they come and go with a smile and a positive word. Fill your home with joy and laughter. When you nurture their spirits, the atmosphere of the home is greatly improved.
Mind:
- Books, books, books! My mother passed down a passion for books, and I have carried on that tradition to my kids. She and I have extensive libraries with books in every room of the house. Make quality, educational and inspiring books readily available and inviting to everyone who enters your home, and schedule a daily quiet time for everyone in the household to spend time reading. This is especially important if you have children.
- Limit time spent in passive entertainment and plan times for creative activities. Play games, do puzzles, do trivia challenges, and journal. Talk about topics that stimulate higher levels of thinking and reasoning.
- Learn something new; take a class; join a club; or try a new hobby. These will bring interest into the home that encourages mentally stimulating activities over mind numbing ones. Your home can be a place where everyone who lives there loves to learn. Spread a positive attitude about learning by setting the example yourself.
- Eat meals together as often as possible and encourage positive and stimulating conversations.
Physical:
The Sense of Sight – Visual Appeal of the Home:
- Clutter is your enemy. There is much to say about your home looking “lived in,” but clutter is mentally and physically draining. Keeping your environment tidy and reasonably organized greatly reduces stress. Spend fifteen minutes per day decluttering, and at least have a clutter basket or in-box to keep the madness out of sight when you are too busy to clean as you would like. Stubbornly make decluttering a daily habit without fail so that it won’t get out of hand again. Don’t let that monster grow! Staying on top of it is so much easier than trying to dig out of a mountain of mess.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are insecure about decorating, peruse magazines, Pinterest, decorating books at Home Depot, or stalk your friends who have attractive homes for ideas. Ask for advice from friends and watch Home and Garden television. Keep in mind, you can make your home beautiful without busting your budget. Learn how to work with what you have and to shop for bargains.
- Simple touches make a world of difference: a splash of color from flowers or throw pillows, a decorative candle, fresh paint, or a new rug can give your room quite a face lift.
- Set a beautiful table for dinner time. Don’t wait for company or special occasions, but an evening with your family and creating memories is important enough to bring out the good stuff! Don’t forget candles and flowers! Kids love them too!
- Display beautiful art work and plenty of family pictures.
- Plants add life and warmth to your space.
- Consider lighting. Warm lighting makes it cozy and relaxing, but cooler lighting can be refreshing and uplifting. Be careful about lighting that emphasizes tired skin and wrinkles! Strategically place lamps that will distribute light throughout the room. Have bright as well as low lights to create or enhance the mood of your home.
- Surprise your family with a personal touch or a change from time to time to break the monotony. Familiarity can get boring, so mix things up a bit.
- Look around and ask yourself if your home is visually appealing. What can you do to improve the looks of your home? Keep it simple and inexpensive.
The Sense of Smell – Frangrance of the Home:
- Fragrance makes a huge difference in that homey feeling we are trying to create for our families. It really does matter, so take notice.
- Clean germy areas regularly to prevent stale or offensive odors. I shampoo my carpets every so often to keep them fresh because they can end up smelling like dog. Be aware of the usual culprits – trash cans, garbage disposals, pet beds and blankets, upholstery, bathrooms, laundry, the refrigerator, and kid’s rooms.
- Air out your house often to get rid of stale odors. Open those windows and enjoy fresh air!
- Use a fabric softener fragrance your family loves and make clothes and linens bring warm and pleasant feelings when they change clothes or crawl into bed.
- Now that you have the smells under control, let us add fragrance. Do not neglect this step, and don’t just save it for company. Make your home smell wonderful, even if it is just for you or your family.
- There is so much out there, so rather than offer advice on what to use, just be inspired to find what you will love. My family enjoys the smell of baking and of Yankee candles. They also love the smell of fabric softener when I do laundry. I also use oil warmers plugged in the wall. Go ahead and put a pie or some cookies in the oven just before they come home, or light a candle. Talk about atmosphere!
- Take a sniff right now. Does your home smell inviting? What can you do to improve it?
The Sense of Hearing – Sounds of the home:
- Keep it tranquil and reduce noise pollution. You don’t have to have constant noise from the TV or other distracting devices. Turn it off once in awhile! Keep arguing to a minimum by using a gentle voice. Let the sound of laughter fill the house often. Keep wild horseplay outside and require self-control and a certain level of calmness inside. The well-being you and your family experience will be so worth the effort!
- Play soft, relaxing music that calms the central nervous system. Everyone will benefit! Or, play joyful music that is uplifting when the mood strikes. I love to clean house to oldies dance music, but I turn on smooth jazz when it is time for Jeff to come home. In between, I keep worship music of all styles playing most of the time for myself. I also played classical music every day when I homeschooled my children.
- Listen, does your home sound homey, peaceful, joyful, relaxing, and stimulating? Or, does the noise make you feel anxious and tense? Sound really does make a difference!
The Sense of Touch – Texture and Comfort:
- Consider the texture of pillows, fabrics, linens, and furniture. What is the temperature like? The comfort and feel of your home makes a huge impact on the comfort and feel of your family. Embrace them with soft and blissful fabrics and cushiony seats and beds.
The Sense of Taste – Yummy culinary delights!
- Yes, even meals and baked goodies greatly affect the atmosphere of your home. Experiment with recipes and enjoy trying new things.
- Be intentional about meal planning. We can be so busy that we often have to resort to convenience foods, but we can still make the effort to make meals healthy and enjoyable.
- I recommend trying a new recipe at least once a week, and if they are hits, insert them into the regular rotation. Give your family a variety. Do not repeat meals any more than once per week at the very most.
- Cooking is my love language to my family, and I often go overboard, loving them with food. Please be careful not to be like me in that way. However, the effort you make will give them pleasant memories and fond emotions of home when they grow up.
- Try making certain dishes a tradition to establish sweet memories. For example, we have my awesome carrot soufflé every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and my kids get excited when they see it on the table. It always brings up wonderful memories of past holidays.
- Make memories cooking and baking together. How much sweeter will the treat be when it is mixed with a lot of love and togetherness!
Everything I have said here is something you probably already know. However, it was a help to me to see it all on one checklist so that I would be more aware of all the factors that make a house feel like home. Reading these ideas inspires me too, and we need fresh reminders sometimes when we feel overwhelmed by the monotony of our daily work. Remember that creating the atmosphere of your home is one of your most important, valuable, and fulfilling roles as a wife and/or mother. Embrace it and learn to have fun filling your home with love and atmosphere!
I miss you, Nanjene! I hope you and your family are doing well! God bless!
Mrs.Shannon, thanks for all the advise on how to make a house a home. I miss and love all of you. I will make sure I continue to read more of your postings.