Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 NASB
Read Matthew 18:15-35.
We all know the feeling of being wronged or attacked. It can injure us so badly when someone we have trusted betrays us or says something hurtful to us. Our first inclination is often to retaliate. Human nature says to make them feel the pain that they caused us. Sometimes, we can be consumed with revenge, and our words may become slanderous. Even as Christians, we can be tempted to vindicate ourselves by talking badly about the one who has wronged us. On the other hand, we may let it slide without making things right, and then allow the underlying hurt to fester and eventually erupt.
With all of that said, have any of you ever had success with this approach? Does it work, or does it have the propensity to make things worse? I have never seen revenge bring healing to our souls. Holding on to bitterness never solves the problem or soothes our hurts. Since our natural way of dealing with hurts is not going to work, perhaps there is a better way! Jesus gave us a detailed order of dealing with wrongs done to us and bringing reconciliation in our relationships. Let’s see what Jesus has to say and then give it a try.
First of all, when someone has wronged us, we need to deal with it. As Barney Fife would say, we need to “Nip it in the bud!” Don’t allow it to fester. The first step is to go to that person. Perhaps ask them the truth if you have questions about their intentions. Maybe we have a wrong understanding of the situation. Go straight to the source and speak to them about it. It takes courage to have the uncomfortable conversation, but it can also bring healing and resolution.
If the person listens and confesses, you have won a friend and have reconciled the situation. However, if unsuccessful, Jesus has provided a second step. Don’t just let it go, but try again. This time bring another witness or two for protection and “so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.” (verse 16). There is a lot of wisdom in this in case the situation turns ugly.
Don’t stop there either! If the situation is not resolved, don’t just let it go yet. Try a third time, but this time bring it before the church. This is usually not necessary except for the more extreme cases, but Jesus is clear about the role of church discipline. He advice is almost the same as Paul’s advice that we learned about in 1 Corinthians. If the person still won’t repent, then turn him out. That doesn’t mean excommunication necessarily, but it is more of a time out. Give that person time to think about his actions for the purpose of restoration, not punishment. Then, let it go.
Jesus thought highly of relationships and unity in the church. It is interesting because the Christian church had not been officially established yet, but congregations of worship did exist at the time in the temples. Jesus taught them the power of working and agreeing together in unison. He said that what they bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and what will be loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven. And, whatever we agree together in prayer, God will do it for us.
Some have used that to describe spiritual warfare, and that may very well be so. When we bind spiritual forces on earth, it will be done in the spiritual realm. However, some have also used this to describe church discipline, meaning whatever those in spiritual leadership permits or forbids on earth will be supported in heaven. I tend to see it more in the realm of the spirit, but I will be the first to admit that I don’t know it all. I still have much to learn!
As for agreeing in prayer, there is power in agreement when we gather in His name. When we pray according to God’s Word and His will, and agree by the authority given to us by the name of Jesus, there is nothing that can stop our prayers from being granted!!
The chapter concludes with an intense story of forgiveness. Since we began with reconciling relationships and dealing with wrongs, how perfect to finish with forgiveness! Jesus felt so strongly about forgiveness, that He will withhold forgiveness from us if we refuse to forgive others.
Peter asked how many times we must continue to forgive someone who continues to do us wrong. When is enough enough? Seven times? Jesus said, “No, Seventy times seven!” Now, He isn’t saying to keep count, because if we do, then we really haven’t forgiven the first time. He is simply saying “Forgive over and over and over again!”
In Jesus’ story, a man was forgiven of a huge debt he owed the king. Whew! This man and his family narrowly escaped prison. However, when someone who owed him a small fraction of the debt that had just been forgiven from him, he refused to show mercy. He had the man locked up until he could pay the debt. Now, tell me, how is this man going to repay the debt from a prison cell? That is not likely to happen!
When the king heard what the first man had done, he rescinded his pardon and had the first man locked up. Jesus then explained that the same would happen to us if we refuse to forgive. If we want mercy to be shown to us, we must show mercy to others. Notice also that Jesus added the words, “from the heart.” Forgiveness is more than just a notion or mere words. We must let it go completely, from the depths of our hearts.
Remember the words of Jesus from before, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NLT
