Dare to Love Well
(Response to The Faith Dare, by Debbie Alsdorf, Day 21)
I remember when the door to the deepest love I have ever known in this earth was first opened to me. When I held that perfect little bundle of boy in my arms for the first time, I felt a level of love I had never dreamed possible. Bryan, my first man-child! I thought my heart would burst!
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| My first born on his way to the symphony |
Being a mom for the first time was the most wonderful experience in the whole world! Incomparable is that marvelous connection between mother and son!
When the next two came along, I wondered if my heart had the capacity to love them just as much. Oh my goodness, yes! Stephen stole my heart from the first flutter of movement inside my tummy and the moment I first laid eyes on him! The love meter jumped into double overdrive! Then, when Natalie came along, I had never dreamed my heart could hold that much love! I used to just stare at her and well up with tears because I was in such awe of my perfect princess!
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| Stephen doing what he loves best – photography |
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| Natalie on her way to the military ball |
Being a mom rocks, y’all!
Later on, when God restored my life and gave me a second chance at love with Jeff, I found out what it truly means to have a marriage of oneness before God. This marriage is everything I had ever dreamed it would be and more! Jeff is truly a God-send and the love of my life! God has given us a deep love that thrives on oneness, which is deeper than romantic love but includes it, and deeper than friendship but includes it. He has made us one in purpose and spirit. What a love!
Hey, being a wife to a Godly man rocks too!
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| I sure do love this guy! |
Oh, and did I mention how much I love my dogs? That is a whole ‘nutha level!
What I have just described are the people on this earth who are easy for me to love. Anyone can love someone who loves them back, whom they find attractive or lovely in some way, or someone who has something to offer in return. But what about loving the unlovable? The rude and the unkind? Those who despise you and treat you poorly? Those who annoy you? Those who have nothing to offer you in return? How in the world are we supposed to love them, and why bother?
For one, we are commanded in Scripture to do so. Jesus gave us two commands that sum up all of the law: We are to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and love our neighbors as ourselves. When we obey these two commands wholeheartedly, we will be in obedience to all of the commandments. (Romans 13:8-10)
Not only are we to love those who love us, but we are also to love our enemies and do good to those who do not reciprocate our love. (Matthew 5:43-48) Jesus did not give us an out by telling us that we don’t have to love someone just because they do not treat us right, or we do not find them appealing. He commanded us to love others anyway, just as He does, with no exceptions. In that way, we will shine the light of His love to a dying and hurting world. What is love anyway if it is based solely upon conditions? According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, love goes way beyond mere feelings and the incentive of what we will get out of it.
Here is what gets me. God’s love is the perfect example. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us. (Read John 3:16-17 from The Message. Powerful!) The Bible says that there is no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for another. (John 15:13) However, He did not do it because we are lovely or that we have earned it. On the contrary, He loved us even when we were stuck in our stench of sin. (Romans 5:6) He is the paradigm of true love, and He is also our source. We are able to love because He is love, and He first loved us. (1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:19)
When we encounter someone who appears to be unlovable, or seems to lack the capacity to love in return, we cannot use that as an excuse to turn away. We have the responsibility to consider why they have a hard time loving, such as hurts, jealously, competition, offenses, or other hang-ups, and to not allow these things to become our issues as well, or our excuses. Through Christ, we can and must love them in spite of their blemishes.
When we love each other, we are a witness to the world of Christ’s love, and that is also the mark that identifies us as His disciples. (John 13:12-17 The Message)
“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:10
“My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” 1 John 4:7-10 The Message
Answers to Today’s Questions…
Today’s truth is speaking to me…
The two most important missions in life are to love God and to love people. That’s it! That covers everything! We are able to love because God is love. Even unlovable people can be loved because of God’s love. Through Christ, we can show love instead of contempt for even our enemies. As a matter of fact, we are commanded to.
Some people are more difficult to love than others. Before writing them off, we must try to understand what is causing them to be porcupines. Have they been hurt before? Is it jealousy? Pride? Insecurity? Do they feel threatened by me in some way? Do they even have the capacity to love?
Everyone has their own hang-ups, and we cannot afford to make their personal issues ours. The hurt that is causing them to be unlovable is not an excuse for us to turn away. We are called to love them anyway, unconditionally. It is time for us to get over ourselves, forgive, and love as Jesus loves.
In this way, we will be a light to shine the love of Christ to this world.
God is asking me to…
- Make intentional effort to shower love on my family and inner circle. To not show more kindness and respect to strangers than I do to the very ones God has entrusted me to love and care for.
- Show the love of Christ to people I encounter daily and to my brothers and sisters of Holy Ground. I must make an effort and not slack in this area.
- Make extra effort to love those who have hurt me, are rude, who are unlovable, and those of whom I have had difficulty forgiving. It is time for me to get over myself and forgive already!
My challenge is to…
- Overcome feelings of hurt, betrayal, and annoyance with particular people, and to be kind to people who show resentment toward me.
- Swallow my pride to forgive and show love to people who are unloving in return.
- Not allow resentment, anger, or bitterness fester in my heart.
- Overlook faults and get past feelings in order to love unconditionally.
- Love people who have been judgmental to me and have talked about me behind my back. It is not my place to defend myself. God will take care of that for me.
Today’s Prayer… (Debbie Alsdorf)
Lord, I want to come into agreement with the truth. I desire to be pure in heart, and I want to learn to live according to the Jesus style of living. I don’t know how to love my enemies. My own hurts get in the way, and my selfish heart cries out for love. When I am loved, I want to love back. But when I am not loved, I want to hurt back. I see today that you want me to love first regardless of the outcome. You have given me a new heart. Teach me how to love and show me when I am loving less than you best for me. I want to learn your ways.
Favorite Quotes…
“…a life mission statement…
1. I am to live to love God.
2. I am to live to love others.”“We cannot control people – their moods, attitudes, reactions, and decisions. People hurt us, and we hurt them.”
“Hurts can be the culprit of hearts that are no longer centered on God’s love but rather focused on self-preservation.”
“Love is who He is; it is the description of what He stands for. He was strong yet gentle, firm yet loving – grace and truth – and an example of how to live.”
“He gave us no outs or excuses when it comes to people who wrong us.”
“He taught us to love because God Himself created all and re-created us in Christ Jesus that we can live a new and different life in Him.”
“Recognize the reasons people usually love less (jealousy, hurt, being offended, being competitive, pride) and choose not to make their personal issues yours.”
“The Lord is my helper, and will teach me how to love others when I would rather hold back.”
