Faith Dare, Day 23: Put Down the Stones
Dare to Quit Being Critical of Others
Have you ever been embarrassed to find out that you had a chunk of spinach stuck to your teeth during an entire conversation with someone you were trying to impress, but you did not find out about it until afterward? How horrifying is it to look in the mirror and realize how you must have looked the entire time! What was that person thinking?
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| Since we are talking about embarrassing… Got caught feeding my face! |
We had a youth pastor who came to one of our youth parties when I was younger, and he was being so sweet to visit with everyone and to make sure we were all having a great time. However, what he did not know is that had had wiped his nose beforehand and had a huge wad of snot stuck to his cheek the entire time! No one had the nerve to tell him, and he had visited with every single teen, unaware of his plight! Ewwww!
Recently, my husband and I had a business meeting directly after we had eaten a chili-spaghetti lunch. I had looked it the mirror and checked my make up before going in to the meeting, and I thought I was put together. I fixed my lipstick and powdered my nose. I was good to go! Somehow, however, I did not see the three monstrous spots of chili on my chin! Oh how mortifying! How could I have missed that? I did not notice them until after the meeting, and I was so embarrassed! I wonder what the business partner thought of my husband’s slob of a wife!
These are examples of times when we might have a “beam sticking out of our eye,” and yet are completely unaware of it. Yet at the same time, it is so easy for us to notice the speck, or the smudge on someone else’s face.
So often, we observe others around us and automatically nit-pick the way they do things, their appearance, or what we perceive to be their character or status. Why do we do that? What gives us the right?
I have found that our own issues of pride, insecurity, or lack of grace may cause us to develop this habit. However, the more we criticize or judge others, we drift farther and farther from portraying the character of Christ. He does not look at any of us with a constant need to put us down or search for faults in us, so why do we do it to each other?
Why don’t we try rather to look for and expect the best in people instead? Why don’t we cut them some slack and love as Christ loves? Why not strive to see others as Christ sees them? Let us focus on the good and overlook each other’s faults. Perhaps we may find areas of weaknesses in others in which we can pray, but it is nor our place to condemn, judge, or point out their flaws.
When the Pharisees brought the women caught in adultery to Jesus to be stoned, He told them, “Whoever is without sin, let them cast the first stone.”
This is where the spinach, snot, and chili stories come into play. Most of the time, when we are focused on someone else’s faults, we do not even realize our own. We have no place to point fingers at anyone else when we have our own issues that need correcting. Let us first go to God and allow Him to purify our hearts and remove any and all blemishes. Then we will see more clearly to help others along.
The Bible is clear that the way we treat others will come back to us. We are commanded not to judge or criticize others. There are difference meanings to the word judge, however. One meaning is to discern, and there are times we may need to discern the motives of a person based on their fruit. However, the meaning of the word judge in most cases is to condemn or to find fault. Usually when we judge others, we are actually looking for fault and projecting negativity on their intentions, but we are not qualified to do that. God is the only one who accurately sees the heart.
Therefore, let us concentrate on allowing God to create a pure heart within us, and then leave everyone else in His hands. Let us show grace and mercy to others as God shows to us. Accept others as they are, and show unconditional love. As a great friend of mine puts is, “Let us cut people some slack!”
I want you to read The Message version of this Scripture that explains so clearly what our attitude should be toward others:
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.” Matthew 7:1-5
How can I add to that? That sums it up beautifully!
By the way, did I ever tell you about the time my sister, who works in a frozen yogurt and coffee shop, drank a blueberry smoothie just before waiting on her customers? You can imagine what happened! She did not see that giant blueberry on her tooth until after her shift! I just love her! She is so like her big sis – me!
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| Me and my beautiful baby sister, aka Blueberry Girl! |
Answers to Today’s Questions…
Today’s truth is speaking to me…
When I criticize others, it is a form of judgment and pride. It can be fueled by insecurity, self-righteousness, or lack of love, but regardless, it certainly does not portray the character or will of Christ.
I am to love first and foremost and to extend grace and mercy as Christ does. I must learn to see people through the eyes of Christ and to cut them some slack. We are all in different places in life and faith, and it is not my responsibility to correct or point out anyone’s shortcomings or to judge them just because they do things differently than I would. I don’t know the intentions of their heart, and I am not qualified to judge. Only God is.
He loves unconditionally, and his mercy and grace toward them, and me, endures forever. I must follow His example and love as He loves. I have no right to cast stones when I am not blameless without God’s grace myself.
God is asking me to…
Bless and love the ones I have a tendency to look down my nose at and to change my attitude toward them.
Treat others with kindness, respect, acceptance, and above all else, love.
Pray for others.
Speak words of life and encouragement to and about others.
Choose to see good and to expect the best in others.
My challenge is to…
Release my pride, insecurities, and my need to control.
Over look quirks, annoyances, and self perceived weaknesses in others, and see through His eyes instead.
Love even those I don’t especially like.
Today’s Prayer… (Debbie Alsdorf)
Lord, I need You. My human flesh is so strong, my stone-throwing arm too well developed. Help me, Jesus. Take truth to the very core of me, convicting me, instructing me, and changing me.
Favorite Quotes…
“If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7“When I judge others, I am walking further away from living like Jesus and drawing closer to doing things in my own way.”Our critical nature usually comes from our own insecurity or our need to control other people.”“When we are critical, we are not a reflection of Christ.”“If Christ is living in us, w should view people as Christ does, not with the average critical thoughts we play around with.”“Dale Carnegie said, ‘Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain…But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.’”“I too can be much like a Pharisee. I look good in service and actions on the outside, while inside I am filled with criticisms. I judge others because they don’t do things the way I might do them. How arrogant!”“Look for the good in that person and begin to acknowledge the good.”“Stop yourself and just say no to the stones of criticism or judgment.”“The way I treat others will come back to me.”
Good word! You are right. There is a big difference in discernment and judgement. When someone is outright doing something, knowingly wrong, and is doing it in the name of the Lord it's ok to get a righteous anger but we (in general terms)have to be careful not to be a hypocrite and turn around and use the name of the Lord to judge. It's difficult for me to find that fine line sometimes. I check myself when I'm wanting to grab someones spinach out of their teeth while mine are covered in blueberries 😉 . It wasn't just one… i had blended them in a smoothie so it was bits in every knook and cranny they could find to settle in, kind of like when you eat an oreo. Lol!
We are twins seperated by 11 years!