When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Or, maybe I should ask, “What do you perceive that you see?” The difference is that we don’t always see our reflections clearly.  Too often, we wage an internal war with our self-perception. We look at the image staring back at us and fixate on our mistakes, our shortcomings, our flaws, or the things that we just don’t like… That slightly crooked nose, that blemish, those few extra pounds, or the hair that just doesn’t quite do what you want it to. We look at the features that make us unique and beautiful with dissatisfaction.  We may not like the shape or color of our eyes, or our lips aren’t full enough, our cheeks are too puffy, or even the shade of our skin can make us unhappy.

What is that all about? Why do we have such a difficult time seeing our true beauty? Has the fake, airbrushed society we live in caused insecurity to override our self-acceptance?  Have we bought into the lie that if we don’t look like a Victoria Secret model than we might as well just crawl under a rock and hide? Have we placed our worth solely on our external selves and ignored who we really are? Have our expectations become shallow or unreasonable?

Psychologists tell us that one of the most powerful forces in humanity is acceptance. It’s what we all crave. ~Louie Giglio

Perhaps something that was said to us in our youth, even if it were interpreted incorrectly, has introduced us to the sting of rejection. The message rings loudly and clearly, “There is something wrong with you.”

For this giant to fall, for this giant to be rendered powerless in your life immerse yourself in this fact: God made you. Uniquely. Beautifully. Intentionally. Purposefully. Wonderfully. ~Louie Giglio

We have all had an encounter with the Giant of Rejection and his minion, Insecurity, in one way or another. On one side of the coin, some of us have internalized the message that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough from words spoken to us in our youth, or by the actions of others, and we have thus settled into a path of mediocrity and a “less than” life. So many of us have been held back from so many awesome experiences and from fulfilling God’s good purpose for our lives to the fullest because of this sorry giant.

Your heavenly Father said, “I choose you. I want you in my forever family – you are my daughter; you are my son. I have given you a name – my name. I give you a place with me – and it’s a place of love an abundance. I give you my inheritance, and my riches are limitless. ~Louie Giglio

On the flipside, however, rejection has another facet many of us may not recognize. We can become ensnared by the never-ending trap of trying to earn our worth and acceptance of others by our accomplishments or our external qualities, such as beauty or wealth. This includes the overachievers, perfectionists, and workaholics who thrive on recognition and affirmation to feel satisfied as worthwhile human beings. They may simply call themselves driven, but the foundation of rejection and insecurity is the same, nevertheless.

The good news is that in Christ, we have everything we long for. Everything we need. We are not working to gain his acceptance. We already have it. ~Louie Giglio

Our worth isn’t wrapped up in what we achieve and accomplish, although we always seek to do our best. Our net worth is forever anchored in the fact that Jesus was given for us. ~Louie Giglio

One of the most obvious manifestations of insecurity, which in turn further feeds the giant of rejection, is comparison. We have a tendency to look at others to see if we are OK. We measure ourselves by what we see in others, and we feel better about ourselves when we perceive their shortcomings.

It’s not the outward appearance that impresses God. It’s a heart of faith. ~Louie Giglio

In today’s social media frenzy, we have a constant need to present ourselves in our very best light and hope that others will give us “likes” and comments of affirmation. We use filters to make our selfies appear better than reality, and we would never let anyone see us without our make up being fresh or our hair fixed just so. We want people to praise our beautiful children, our exceptional DIY projects, the wonderful places we go, and our amazing culinary skills. All the real stuff is hidden because the giant of rejection stands in the way of our revealing who we truly are deep inside.

If we live for people’s approval, we will die by their rejection. ~Louie Giglio

Something to remember when we have felt the sting of rejection from someone else is that “Rejected people reject people.” Consider the root of their rejection and place no weight on their opinions. Their words or actions toward you have no bearing on your worth, so do not allow them to shake your confidence. The only opinion that truly matters is God’s, and He says that you are loved, chosen, cherished, and accepted. God says you are worth the price of Jesus’ life for your redemption. Now that is valuable!

You are worth Jesus to God! ~Louie Giglio

The only thing that will help us move past the giant of rejection is to immerse ourselves in the acceptance of Christ. ~Louie Giglio

The Four Principles for Defeating the Giant of Rejection

1. We understand the miracle of our creation. We need to understand that we are the work of God. We are a masterpiece. Everything God made, He said is good. God doesn’t make mistakes, and He certainly doesn’t make junk. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
2. We revel in the mystery that Jesus chose us. Even before the creation of the world, God chose you. Before you ever had a chance to come to him or earn his favor, He already claimed you as His. “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” John 15:16 ESV
3. We grasp how costly it was for Jesus to rescue us. It has been said that the truth worth of something is determined by the price one is willing to pay for it. God said that you are worth the price of His own Son. You have enormous worth in God’s sight! “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:7-8 NIV
4. We live FROM acceptance, not FOR it. In Matthew’s Gospel, we see that when Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened up, and the Spirit of God descended in the form of a dove. God said about Jesus, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17 NIV Notice, this was before Jesus had begun His ministry, before He healed the sick, performed miracles, or taught the multitudes. Jesus did not have to earn God’s acceptance, and neither do we. We are already accepted and loved unconditionally by God. There is nothing we can do to earn it. “But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.” Romans 11:6 ESV

 

I have prepared a list of affirmations that really made a difference in my life when I struggled with the giant of rejection and insecurity several years ago.  I encourage you to use these “Power Thoughts for Women,” and see what a huge difference they can make in your life.  Try it every day for thirty days in a row and see how you can train your thinking and learn to live in victory over insecurity.  Truth is powerful!

The worship of God shuts down the giants. Rejection and worship cannot exist in the same place. One displaces the other. ~Louie Giglio

Week 3 Assignments

1. Watch my video for Week 3 (available on Wednesday).
2. Read pp. 43-60 in the study guide and do one or all of the activities on pp. 53-60 of the study guide. Have fun with these!
3. Optional: Read chapter 4 of the companion book, Goliath Must Fall (white book).
4. Participate in a small group at Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study on Facebook. See pinned post for directions and schedule.
5. Be sure to check out our 10 Days of Giving Thanks!

 

Week 3 Discussion Questions

Here is a sneak peek of the questions we will be discussing this week in our small groups.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:1b-3a ESV

QUESTION 1: What are some truths you learned, or were reminded of last week, that has helped you walk victoriously over the giant of fear?

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7 NIV

QUESTION 2: What are some reasons you think people deal with the giant of rejection? What are some ways we fuel that monster in our lives?

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV

QUESTION 3: How can marveling at the wonder of God’s creation nurture your sense of worth, that you are loved and accepted? What have you learned about the wonder of how God created you?

 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1:7-8 NIV

For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV

QUESTION 4: What does it mean to you to know that God chose you, and He paid such a high price for you?

But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace. Romans 11:6 ESV

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 ESV

QUESTION 5: What is the difference between living FOR acceptance and living FROM it? How can you put this into practice?

QUESTION 6: What has especially impacted you from this study so far?

Reading Schedule

• November 6-12, Week 1: “Dead but Still Deadly” 
  • Study Guide pp. 11-26 | (optional) Companion book, chapters 1-2
• November 13-19, Week 2: “Fear Must Fall”
  • Study Guide, pp. 27-42 | (optional) Companion book, chapter 3
• November 20-26, Week 3: “Rejection Must Fall” (HAPPY THANKSGIVING!)
  • Study Guide, pp. 43-60 | (optional) Companion book, chapter 4
• November 27-December 3, Week 4: “Comfort Must Fall”
  • Study Guide, pp. 61-76 | (optional) Companion book, chapter 5
• December 4-10, Week 5: “Anger Must Fall”
  • Study Guide, pp. 77-94 | (optional) Companion book, chapter 6
• December 11-17, Week 6: “Addiction Must Fall”
  • Study Guide, pp. 95-110 | (optional) Companion book, chapters 7-9
• December 18-24, Catch Up Week
  • Small groups: Wrap up study

How This Works

1. If you have not done so already, please register by leaving your name and email address below.
2. Purchase the study book and companion book (optional).
3. Subscribe to this site to receive future updates by email. Enter your email address in the field to the right, and then click the subscribe button.
4. Join our closed Facebook group, Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study, for weekly interaction, activities, videos, and small group sessions. Closed means that no one will be able to see our posts unless they are members of the group. This is for your safety and privacy.
5. Small Groups: See the pinned post at the top of the Facebook group, Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study, for the schedule and instructions. All you need to do is show up at the scheduled day and time, and the discussion will take place underneath the group photo.
6. Follow my ministry page on Facebook, Shari Lewis Ministries, to stay up-to-date on ministry events and for daily prayers, nuggets of wisdom and encouragement for your life, photos that you are welcome to share, and faith building blog posts to strengthen you in your walk with Christ.

What is Coming Up at Heart to Heart?

1. Continuing 10 Days of Giving Thanks until November 22: We will have a daily devotion and activities to help make your Thanksgiving season more meaningful and worshipful.
2. Advent videos, beginning December 3, (5:00 PM Easter/2:00 PM Pacific): This is going to be the most awesome Christmas season ever! During the four weeks leading up to Christmas, we will have live videos on Facebook with a devotion, traditional candle lighting, and something special each week to make this Christmas season more joyful and Christ-centered. This will include weekly devotions on the blog and fun activities in the Facebook group as well!
3. In-depth study of the book of Genesis, beginning January 15: We will study the book, The Promised One (A 10-week Bible Study): Seeing Jesus in Genesis, by Nancy Guthrie.

 

Whew! I am so excited about all the awesome things we have in store at Heart to Heart, but especially beginning this new study with you this week! I am so ready for the giants in our lives to be defeated once and for all! I can’t wait to see what God will do in our lives over the course of these next few weeks. By the power and authority of Jesus Christ, we really can live free!

I hope to see you in a small group this week!

God bless!