I Am So (ahem) Happy for You

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15 NIV

“It’s just not fair!” Will shouted angrily with hot tears streaming down his flushed, temper- scorched cheeks. He furiously heaved every obstacle from his path as he stormed out of the room to indulge his tantrum in private.

After giving him a moment to collect himself, I gingerly approached him, cautiously placed my hand on his shoulder, and asked him why this gift had upset him so.

I was still a college student at the time and worked part time for United Way with their after-school program for underprivileged children. Occasionally, we would receive gifts for the children from generous donors, and it was usually a very exciting day when these treasures would show up unannounced. It was like Christmas!

On this particular day, boxes and boxes of shoes had arrived unexpectedly, and we were jumping up and down and cheering with anticipation as we dove into the priceless boxes. However, it only took a moment to realize that every single pair of shoes was for a girl.

Naturally, the girls squealed with delight as each one claimed the perfectly fitting pair. They were all beautiful, too! It was as if Prince Charming himself had personally fitted Cinderella’s glass slipper onto each foot.

As the fashion show commenced, I could see the pained disappointment on the faces of each of the boys. If only they hadn’t had their hopes lifted up so high, because it only provided a steeper crash when their hopes came hurtling right back down.

Gabe was such a sweetie with the whole ordeal. His sister, Wendy, got a gorgeous new pair of sandals, and he was elated for her. He cheered for his sister and raved about how lovely she looked. He was genuinely happy for all of the girls.

Bobby’s countenance drooped so low for a moment that I just knew he would trip over his pouting bottom lip. However, after some thought, he decided to be happy for the girls as well. He began choking out congratulations and compliments to them, in spite of his disappointment.

Will, however, just could not allow himself to be happy for the girls. To him, it was as if something had been taken away from him rather than seeing what others had been given. He felt like he had been ripped off again.

Again?

Will had experienced nothing but loss in his mere ten years of living, or at least that is how he saw it. The only life he had known was of poverty and abuse, and his mother and brother and he were currently living in a shelter to hide from his dangerous alcoholic father. If they were found, they would have to flee in an instant. He had been dealt a pitiful hand, and in comparison to everyone else, he viewed his lot as the poorest of the bunch.

I can understand his reaction, but there was so much that he could not see from his limited perspective.

1. The boys’ shoes had not yet arrived. He did not know what was on the way just for him.
2. The center had already received many gifts that he enjoyed every day, such as sports equipment, games, and food.
3. He was not aware of the conditions the other children were living in. Several of them had even sadder stories than his.
4. He had a hard-working mother who loved him so much that she was willing to sacrifice her life to give him the very best life possible. He was by far not the only victim in his family.
5. He was academically gifted and had the potential for a dazzling future if he made wise choices.
6. He had the privilege of spending every afternoon with me! That should be enough right there! (OK, just kidding!)

Will certainly had his share of disappointment and heartache, and I often wept for him. My heart was definitely broken for him that day. However, with some prodding he eventually was able to share a bit of happiness with the girls. They were his friends, and he was glad that they had been blessed.

Let us examine ourselves for a moment. How do we respond to the good fortune of someone else?

Are you more like Gabe who raved over his sister’s new shoes, not even batting an eye to his own lack of fortune?

Are you more like Bobby who had to shake off his disappointment before he could even choke out a weak congratulations?

Are do you see a bit of yourself in Will? He was so steeped in himself that he could not view the blessings of others without comparing it to his own fate. Do anger and jealousy clog your pipes of joy?

Do you find true joy when others are blessed? Do you celebrate when someone else gets the promotion? Do you rejoice with them, or does that green-eyed monster have a hay day? Is it really possible to be content playing second fiddle to allow someone else to bask in the spotlight for awhile?

Let us take a moment and look again at Will’s story. What can we learn about ourselves from the lesson he learned.

1. You also do not know what blessings are right around the corner. Yours is on the way, so do not be discouraged. “If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:3 NL
2. When you feel left out, begin giving thanks for the gifts you have already received. God has already been so good to you, and when He blesses someone else, that does not devalue the great things He has done for you. “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT.
3. When someone else’s life appears to be rosier than yours in comparison, consider that you do not see the whole picture. You may never know what personal struggles another person may be facing. “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” Galatians 6:4 NLT.
4. Let us stop playing the martyr. Yes, life is hard, but it is hard for everyone. Rather than bemoaning your constant struggles, take some time to understand someone else’s difficulties. When you take time to help someone else along in their hardships, yours will not seem as profound. “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’” Matthew 25:35-36 NLT.
5. You have a bright and blessed future if you are willing to make wise choices and commit your ways to the Lord. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV. “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 NLT.
6. Finally, once these lessons have reshaped your perspective, consider that when we show genuine love for each other, we fulfill all of God’s laws. Romans 13:8-10. Love is the exact representation of Christ in this world because He is love. His love is made complete in us when we love one another. 1 John 4:7-12,17 Lastly, when we love others with God’s love, we have the power to show genuine happiness for others when they are blessed. We can honestly rejoice when others rejoice. Romans 12:9-16.

So, yes, I really am happy for you!

Let’s make it a habit of being genuinely happy for others when things go well for them, and being a source of support for those who mourn. Let’s rejoice with those who rejoice instead of fixating on self, and give that green-eyed monster of jealousy a black eye instead!

I hope you have a blessed day!