I swooshed down the slide and landed in the water with a gigantic splash. Immediately, panic set in as I sank below the surface of the water. I flailed my arms wildly, writhing in terror, hoping someone would find me and lift my face out of the water. I thought my lungs would explode with the desperate ache for a breath of air. Disoriented and numb, I tried to yell out, but the sound did not travel far under the water. Almost as quickly as the fear of imminent death flashed across my mind, my friend pulled me up above the surface of the water. Choking and crying, I heaved in massive gulps of air until I regained my composure and could calmly process what had just happened.
It was at church youth camp in Roanoke, VA, summer of 1979. I would be a teenager in a matter of weeks, and I was the only girl in my cabin who did not know how to swim. I had grown up with a fear of water but decided it was time to get over it. If others could do it, I certainly could too! My dear friend, Loretta, with the greatest of intentions, was determined to teach me. Somehow, we got the idea that if I simply plunged into the water, I would instinctively know what to do. I naively climbed to the top of the ladder with no idea what was about to incur.
I still remember being petrified at the speed with which I flew down the slide. I think that is what threw me into a state of panic as I hit the water, and I became too disoriented to find my way to the surface. As I look back on it now, I recall that the water was only 4 feet deep, and I was well over 5 feet tall by then. All I had to do was to stand up and lift my head above that watery nightmare, but I didn’t know which end was up! All I knew was that I was buried over my head and was sure I would die if I didn’t find the surface soon. Thankfully, Loretta was there to rescue me that day. I don’t know if she remembers this, but she patiently worked with me until I overcame my fear and became quite a proficient swimmer. I am so glad she didn’t let me give up!
My near drowning experience brings to mind a life lesson to which we can all relate. As is common in this thing called life, we have all experienced moments to varying degrees in which we have either flubbed up, screwed up, messed up, or failed at something and then felt like we were drowning in shame or regret. Sometimes it can be so difficult to get past the past. Whether it is as small as putting your foot in your mouth and accidentally offending someone, forgetting your lines in the school play, realizing you had a poppy seed stuck in your teeth on your driver’s license photo, or tripping and falling in front of the entire church (Yes, I did that!), or it is as major as committing a crime, losing your job, facing divorce, or falling into an addiction that has consumed your life. We can all relate to that feeling of drowning in our mistakes or failures to one degree or another.
The waves of embarrassment, disgrace, self-anger, or regret can hold us under and disorient us when all we have to do is simply stand up and lift up our heads. If we stay under, beating ourselves up for being so foolish, or hiding from the condemnation of others who are not without their own mistakes, or falling for the lies of self-doubt or self-rejection, we will certainly drown in our disgrace. The solution seems so simple from above the surface, but if you are the one with you head under the water, the way out may not seem as straightforward. Like my friend, Loretta, let me be the friend right now who will hold you up and help you find your way above the water.
To find your way to the surface where you can rise above, consider these four truths:
1. You are not alone, and there is hope for you too!
You will not find one person who has not fallen short of perfection. You may have messed up, whether great or small, but we all have. If someone says that they have never made a mistake, they lie. We are not immune to mistakes as long as we live in a human body. Do not fall for the lie that you are less valuable than someone else or that you have fallen too deeply to be rescued when we are all in the same boat. My mistakes may be much worse than yours, or maybe not as severe as yours, but you and I both are equally in need of being rescued by God’s grace. Since we all have the same plight, we also all have the same remedy, and that is found only in Jesus Christ. If anyone else can rise above, you can too!
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24 NLT
2. Mistakes do not define you.
You are not your bankruptcy. You are not your addiction. You are not your failure. You are not stupid or worthless just because you said something foolish or someone told you that you are. You are not defined in God’s eyes as the divorced one, the immoral one, the criminal, the drunk, or the bum. He does not impose such labels on the ones He loves. Rather, you are the object of His affection, one of His chosen, His beloved, and someone He thought was worth dying for.
Tony Evans uses this illustration. If you take a $100 bill and step on it, mash it, crumple it, spit on it, and even tear it, it is still a $100 bill. Regardless of what happens to it, it has not lost it value, and neither have you. You may pay some hefty consequences for your choices, but your worth has not been affected. You were created in the very image of God. He is the one who gave you your value, not your circumstances or the opinions of others, and He has never taken it back.
Know your worth. Know what God’s Word says about you. For help remembering that you are a person of great worth in God’s sight, see my Power Thoughts for Women.
For it was You who created my inward parts
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well. Psalms 139:13-14 HCSB
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well. Psalms 139:13-14 HCSB
So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 NIV
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 NIV
3. Jesus came to remove your disgrace and restore your dignity.
Jesus bore your shame and disgrace on the cross so you don’t have to. Whether your regret is minute or your scandal is life-shattering, the price has already been paid to restore you to right standing in God’s sight. No matter what you have done, forgiveness has already been provided for you. God does not hold it against you, so why are you beating yourself up? God does not see you as a failure, so why do you? God is not ashamed of you, so why are you?
Your part in this is to believe and trust. You can be set free from guilt and condemnation of the past by accepting by faith that you are already forgiven and restored (Romans 8:1). His grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). Since He has made you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36). Do not allow yourself to be tangled in the bondage of guilt any longer (Galatians 5:1).
If you do not know Jesus as your Lord, you can have absolute peace with God this very day. See my post, How to Be Saved. Please share this post with everyone you know too!
4. Stand up and lift up your head.
This is the step that requires the most courage. You must face your mistake head-on before you can rise above it. Hiding from your fault will only compound the fear and anxiety, but owning up to it is the only way to put it behind you. Evaluate your situation matter-of-factually. State what happened, and list the results. Take responsibility and willingly face whatever consequence may accompany your decision. Get it over with, and you no longer will have to dread it.
Be willing to do whatever is necessary to make things right. Remember, Jesus already paid the penalty, but you may have to experience consequences nonetheless. Be prepared to pay retribution when possible as well, and humbly reconcile relationships. Courageously take steps to correct the wrong behavior if the pattern continues. Put one foot in front of the other, and build momentum toward positive change in your life.
You do not have to do this on your own, however. Once You accept the forgiveness of Jesus and have chosen to follow Him as Lord of Your life, You have the power of the Holy Spirit to help You with this step. Do You realize it is the very same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead? Now that is power!
Just like I needed my friend to pull me up out of the water, sometimes we need help to lift us up from what is holding us under. Do not be afraid to seek help when necessary, whether it is a friend, a mentor, or a professional. Do not delay. Most importantly, however, seek help from God. He will give you the strength and wisdom to turn your situation around.
You do not have to stay under your embarrassment, disgrace, or regret any longer. You do not have to look back over your life and lament the wasted years or lost joy caused from mistakes you have made in your past.
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25 NIV
God can redeem what you have lost and turn it into a blessing. He will use even your errors for your good. He uses everything to make us more like Him.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV
You can confidently rise above what seems to be drowning you. You really can move past the thing that seems to be holding you under. Know the truth, accept God’s restoration, and lift up your head. You are a survivor!
Image source: Kim Kiyasaki
Thank you! You are such an encouragement to me, and I hope you have been encouraged as well!
So helpful Shari–thank you!