All of her dreams came true, and she lived happily ever after…
Does it really happen that way? When the princess finally snatches and marries her handsome prince, is that what will really make her happy and fulfilled for the rest of her life? Does she really have to have her prince in order to be happy? When someone gets everything they thought they wanted on this earth, does it really make them happy?
Perhaps there is a temporary happiness that settles in for awhile, but what happens when familiarity, comparison, or jealousy enters the picture? Suddenly the “thing” doesn’t seem to be all it’s cracked up to be. We have learned this week that if God is not the ultimate desire of our hearts, we will always be left wanting. There is no substance or person who can ever fulfill our deepest needs or longings. Only God can fill that God-shaped hole in our hearts!
When we expect our husbands, children, friends, co-workers, etc, to meet our emotional needs and to fill the holes in our hearts, we are putting undo stress on them to fill a role they were never created to fill. When they don’t measure up to our unreasonable expectations, we experience strain in the relationship.
Our desire to be loved by our spouses, parents, family members, and friends is a natural longing God planted within us. But when that longing becomes all-consuming, eclipsing our love for God, clouding our view of His blessing, and leaving years of discontent and manipulation in its wake, we’ve most likely made a person into a god.
The truth is that when we expect a person to meet a need that only God can fill, we are making them an idol in our lives. The end result is heartache and devastation.
When Jesus is my ultimate love, I’m able to love the people around me more wholly.
In our study of Rachel and Leah this week, we witnessed how idolatry was central to their mental and emotional anguish.
Leah was unloved and longed only for the love of her husband, Jacob. She never did receive the love she longed for, and we see the jealousy, manipulation, bitterness, and desperation she demonstrated because of her unfulfilled longings. Her reaction to the birth of each of her children, except for Judah, was nothing short of pathetic and sad. However, even if she had captured her husband’s heart, he would never have been able to soothe the ache in her heart. Only God is the source of what her heart was crying out for.
On the other hand, Rachel did have the very thing her sister wanted, and that was Jacob’s affection. However, she was jealous of Leah because she was unable to conceive children. Instead of being happy with what she did have, she longed for what Leah had. She was competitive, manipulative, and a true drama queen. She had the very thing Leah wanted, but she proclaimed that she would simply die if she did not also have children as Leah had.
When we look to God instead of demanding people fix our circumstances or make us happy, we’ll know peace.
In today’s culture, we see these emotions of jealousy, pride, arrogance, and comparison played out on social media for the whole world to see, and it can be brutal! Girls, it is not pretty out there! People are crying out for temporary fixes and settling for co-dependent relationships instead of allowing God to be their ultimate source of fulfillment. When we allow God to meet our needs and to make us completely healthy and whole, then we are in the position to develop strong, healthy relationships.
As we read farther in the story, we see how God provided for their longings. When God sees that Leah is unloved, he blesses her with many children. When God sees that Rachel desperately aches to be a mother, God blesses her with sons of her own. However, even after Rachel receives everything she ever hoped for, she still stole the idols from her father’s house. It was never enough for her! God’s blessings were merely tools, but the ultimate satisfaction comes from intimacy with God alone.
When we esteem the world’s treasures as our functional gods, it is as if we are being unfaithful to our bridegroom Christ. We are looking for our desires to be met elsewhere.
One of the lessons we learn from Rachel and Leah is the disaster that occurs when we live for people instead of for God. We learned that God is a jealous God; he is jealous for us. He will not share our devotion with lesser things. He wants the entirety of our hearts.
James 4 gives us an opportunity to examine our hearts and our motives before God, to release our idols once and for all, and to submit our hearts fully to God.
- Submit to God.
- Resist the devil, and draw near to God.
- Cleanse your hands, and purify your heart.
- Mourn your sin.
- Humble yourself before Christ, and rejoice that you’re forgiven.
James 5:6 says that God gives grace to the humble. If you long to be free of the idolatry of people, it all begins with His grace. Humble yourself, dear one, and be certain that He will lift you up.
I pray that your personal Bible study time, as well as our small groups, will be such a blessing to you this week and an opportunity for spiritual growth. Be humble; be free; and be whole!
Session 5 Discussion Questions
ICE BREAKER: What event in the Bible would you most desire to witness in person?
QUESTION 1: What are some lessons you learned from the story of Rachel and Leah this week? How does their story speak to you personally?
QUESTION 2: How can the good desire to be loved become a detrimental one? Have you ever experienced such a season in your life? Explain.
QUESTION 3: Why do we continue to fall for the trap of thinking that if we can just get what we want, we’ll be happy? What is wrong with this thinking?
QUESTION 4: How do you see jealousy, manipulation, arrogance, strife, and so forth playing out on social media? How can you keep from sinking into this swirl?
QUESTION 5: What does it mean that God is jealous for us? How have you seen God display His divine jealousy for you?
QUESTION 6: What truth from this week had the greatest impact on you? Why?
Reading Schedule
- May 28 – June 3: Read Session 6, pp. 115-139; Small groups: Discuss Session 5
- June 4 – 10: Read Session 7, pp. 141-165; Small groups: Discuss Session 6
- June 11 – 17: Read Session 8, pp. 167-193; Small groups: Discuss Session 7
- June 18 – 23: Catch up and complete study; Small groups: Discuss Session 8
How to Participate
- If you haven’t yet, be sure to register by leaving your name and email address in the comments below.
- Purchase the study book.
- Subscribe to this site to receive future updates by email. Enter your email address in the field to the right, and then click the subscribe button.
- Join our closed Facebook group, Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study, for weekly interaction, activities, videos, and small group sessions. Closed means that no one will be able to see our posts unless they are members of the group. This is for your safety and privacy.
- Small Groups: There will be a schedule for small groups pinned to the top of the Facebook group, Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study, as we get closer to the time. All you need to do is show up at the scheduled day and time, and the discussion will take place underneath the group photo.
- Follow my ministry page on Facebook, Shari Lewis Ministries, to stay up-to-date on ministry events and for daily prayers, nuggets of wisdom and encouragement for your life, photos that you are welcome to share, and faith building blog posts to strengthen you in your walk with Christ.
Have a blessed week!
