Perhaps this has never happened to you, but sometimes in life there are people who make us wish we could hurry up and go the other direction before we get trapped into an encounter with them. We might say inside, “Uh-oh, here comes ______! Or, what a weird specimen of a human coming our way! Hurry, hide!”
You mean that happens to Christians too? Of course, you know we all love everyone the same. We never have feelings like this, right? Well, if we’re human, we might as well ‘fess up that we all have some underlying prejudices. I am not talking about racism or looking down on people of other nationalities or backgrounds so much, but I am referring to personal preferences and socially accepted norms. It is natural to want to evade an uncomfortable situation, and sometimes that may include avoiding people who might rub us the wrong way. However, let us take a moment and evaluate the motivation of our hearts in this.
When we see someone we wish to avoid, how do we make that determination? How do we know until we have spent time with that person whether or not we will enjoy spending time with that person? Have we made up our minds simply by their appearance? Or if we are trying to avoid someone that we already know will annoy us, will it really be so painful to take a few minutes to acknowledge that person and validate him/her as a human being worth knowing? Is it really so costly to have a conversation with someone who is different from our typical circle of friends? You never know, you will probably end up liking that person. I wonder if, as a woman after God’s heart, I have the right to be unfriendly or rude to anyone, regardless of my typical associations. Let us consider our attitudes toward people of all personalities and walks of life before we criticize or shun them. Keep in mind; however, I am not negating our right to set boundaries against bullies, slanderers, or moochers. We do not have to tolerate abuse or disrespect from anyone. That is where our heart evaluation comes in, and we must wisely discern how to show true love and respect to all people without becoming a door mat.
Years ago, when my children were quite a bit younger, they all played community soccer. Soccer was our world back then! And, with three different soccer stars (at least in my eyes!) from three different teams in my household, and with juggling all of the practices and games, it often felt like we lived on the soccer fields in the community park. One problem with that, however, was that one of the other soccer moms whose kids also “lived” on the same fields with mine, was one of those people most of us would do everything in our power to avoid. But, how do you hide from someone on the sidelines of a soccer field without being obvious when she is there with you for every single practice and game?
I tried to be cordial with her most of the time at least, especially when I noticed that everyone else was doing the same thing that I had felt like doing. Here she would come with that strange gait like only she had, and everyone would try to look distracted so they wouldn’t have to talk to her. She was different; what else can I say? She was mentally challenged, first of all, so it was tough for any of us to relate to her. She also had some physical abnormalities, making it uncomfortable to look directly at her. Because half of her face was paralyzed, she had a very difficult time talking and was very hard to understand. Having a conversation with her was awfully frustrating. She also talked very loudly and spit all over the place. Top it off with her constant chain smoking, and it is clear to understand why anyone would be uncomfortable around her. It was just too inconvenient to be friendly with her.
One day as I saw her coming across the bridge toward the field where our kids would be playing, I began to realize what a lonely person she must be. For the first time, I suddenly saw her as a real person with real feelings, just like me. She really wasn’t so different after all. My initial thought of running and hiding was interrupted by the words, “Wash her feet.” Of all the directives that God could have placed in my heart, that did not make sense to me! However, I walked toward her and greeted her cheerfully. We actually had a real conversation, and it didn’t hurt at all. I decided to really listen to her and attribute value and dignity to her as a person. It was a bit inconvenient and took a little bit of effort, but through the course of that interaction, I began to understand what it meant to wash her feet. I just had to stop focusing on myself for a moment and love my neighbor as God would. Being acknowledged and valued was the very thing for which she was starving, and few people were willing to show her the love of Christ, even Christians. God humbled me that day and taught me something about unconditional acceptance and love.
Gladly, that was many years and many life lessons ago, but I still have to admit that this is an area in which I am still growing. Now, I try to make it a habit of approaching the very types people I used to ignore. I have learned to look beyond and truly appreciate people of all walks of life, even those with annoying habits. I have learned to express genuine love to people with multiple face piercings and other socially awkward appearances. It makes no difference to me. I have learned to show respect and compassion for people who have made very different life choices than I have, and I will not judge them. On the other end of the spectrum, I am also no longer intimidated by more affluent or successful individuals and do not allow insecurities to keep me from developing quality relationships with them either. I will even go so far as to hug a Democrat! Now that is progress! In other words, regardless of one’s background, appearance, socio-economic status, intelligence, education, career, personality, religion, political affiliation, or lifestyle, God expects us to show love and respect to each as a person whom He loves and accepts unconditionally.
Does that infer that we condone sin? Not at all. We must always continue to stand up for God’s Word in all things. We must never back down from truth. However, if our skeletons do not hinder God’s love for us, why should another person’s shortcomings hinder our love for them?
If we want to make a real difference in this world, we must wake up to the way we think about and the way we treat each other. From now on, let us demonstrate the love of God everywhere we go.
Finally, let us consider what God himself has to say in this matter.
Romans 12:9-10
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
James 2:1-4, 8-9
My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?
2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4 doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?
8 Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 9 But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.
1 Corinthians 12:12-27
12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.
14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?
18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.
27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.
